pretty came over to isetan today. to look me up. that's sweet of him. he said he was calling out for me while searching. aww. he offered to come over to ad to acc me. i declined. really really nice of pretty. but it was okie i thought.and i shant trouble him. well. i dowan bf to get upset. so i said no.


it christmas eve. silent night. im home alone. nah. 0102. its christmas day.
suddenly it got quiet,too quiet. a lonely quiet.



'im sorry i was very busy just now,so sorry i couldnt text you.are you angry with me? im sorry. i just want to tell you i want to spent every christmas with you.im sorry i cant see you today.'

bf texted. i was listening to an jing by jay. i teared.

pretty: hmms okie.. sigh. dont think too much tonight alrites. ((:
bren: i won't i guess.
just for now. it feels a little too quiet. sometimes i just don like the way he do things. cant he set his priorities right?
bren:but i wont say. guess i'll just rather let him do what he think is better for him.
bren: means im inferior to his cafe.
bren: bah.
pretty: i guess he fails to treasure you more bah. hope he will realise soon?
bren: forgets it.
pretty: ehh.. okie okie.
pretty:sighs. we switch topic if can okies? don wanna bring you down ger.

[after his text]

bren: he texted. i feel so retarded. i mean him and his text.
bren: so damn retarded.
bren:i was listening to an jing by jay. its so tears -provoking.
bren: can you just tell me he is retarded?
pretty: alright pretty, he is retarded.
pretty: sighs.
bren: what's the use ever to say that now when he had chosen his cafe over me.
bren: why can everybody give up work for gf.but why cant he?
bren: even you can make a trip down to look me up, trying all possble places. or even offered to come over to ad to acc me. why cant he.
bren: all he knows is his cafe.


i was not just tearing anymore. i was crying. i think i was weak.

bren: having is just like not having.
pretty: you mean?
bren: bf.

the song was set to repeat. it goes on and on. i just let myself cry hard. i know i would at least feel better after that.

bren: nvm pretty. let it be the song. jay sang it too well. his fault i teared.
bren: okie.
bren: im okie d.
bren: (:
pretty: hmms. lets boycott his movie den =x



whats the use of crying now. it changes nothing.its not the first time i feel so done with. maybe if i aint this rational, maybe i had been a little rash. i would consider not having him at all.

'and i'm so sick of love songs
so sick of tears
so done with wishing you were still here
said i'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow'


'感觉不到 从前温柔的双眼
感觉得到 你已不再眷恋
无奈的笑 试图让哦知道
得了失忆可能对你我都好
感觉不到 说是为了我改变
感觉得到 沉默划过我左脸
我不知道 也许我会得到
一句还是朋友 是借口还是境头’



;i am afraid