im so fine with everything, do done with everything. bf is going through emotions. this time round dont know its due to dennis or nicholas. or simply both. i dont know whats wrong or what had exactly cropped up, he is behaving this way suddenly. ): its really saddening. it really is.
is it my fault im surrounded by the guys and is it my fault i cant convince him and make him feel secure.

hey im alrite. i aint putting myself down. i aint gonna tell myself im wrong im at fault or its bF. none of us are. or both of us are. no matter what it shall it may be. i gonna share half of what he is going through.or even more.

we are going through a hard time honey.its really hard.

'baby.missing you is hard,'

[we are in the same sch AND SAME COURSE somemore. though not same class.
he treat me like nonexistence in sch
all he noe is his frens and his cig
he can don care abt me at all
he will nv text me in sch or ask abt me. im always the one to lookhim up first

he don wait for me and go sch tgt. not even on days we start tgt and go for lec tgt.
he don wait for me after sch.and go home with me
HE DONT
he'll meet hos friends. but not me
he wont have lunch together with me. HE DONT
im his gf. and he don spend time with me.
after sch all he now is pool and daytona with his friends
i noe he has got his friends. i can make him ignore em and just acc me. but it doesnt mena he can totally ignores me
IM HIS GF>
he don spend time with me then who
he noe how to get jealous but he is the one who don spend time with me.
and he jolly well noe we both have to work . wkend is not our day.
when are you going to says:
so he behaves like that. i can like don see him at all the whole wk and it goes on. all i see is he's with his friends always.
even outta sch
but nt me
!!!!!!
don you want to slap him
only sometimes. we try get ourselves free on sun den i see him on sun.
i dono whats so wrong abt me. he don bring me along with him in sch
i don mind being with his friends. ey no eme and i noe them too
bUT HE DONT
i just dono la
im not happy.
))_:

i decided. i shall mia (er maybe just from him) for the time being.i shall mia till wheneva he can acc me. im not happy means not happy. no way i can pretend to smile at laugh with him.i cant.]
i want to be truthful honey.


and yesterday, he is getting damn jealous over dennis i think. everytime, everything just revolve around the matter of dennis nicholas guys and being jealous. 'dont we have better, nicerand sweeter topic?' i thought. i hate putting him down but he is.
i tried my best to make him feel wnated. convince him, and make him feel secure. OH GOD.hw much i wanted to. but he just couldnt get himself outta it all.
honey is trying to be nice today. i know.he is. i aint angry.i aint. im just.
not happy. )_:

[ what you do now, no matter what, aint gonna erase the pain you inflicted last night. its an old injury. and everytime you just add new ones to the old ones. i have done everthing honey. i want you to know the others doesnt matters. it you.and me. its us. you refuse to get over it.]

-"To let go isn't to forget, not think about, or ignore.It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret.Letting go isn't winning, and it isn't losing. It's not about pride, and it's not abouthow you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It's not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss, and it's not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and to move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will lose n gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a d r, and to clear a path and to set yourself free."

sorry honey i want to go away.to go far away. but i promise i'll return soon. im here.right here with you .just not physically. im yours always yours. but i need to go. when im back, just open up your arms and hug me tight; tell me you want me tonight. i want to run into you.and crash into your heart. like the first time you say
'i love you baby.you are mine.'


- You may not know it yet - maybe you'll never even think about it - but I'm special.You're gonna meet a lot of girls throughout your life, and a lot of them wil be special to you.But I'll tell you right now that you'll never find another me.So take a l k around you, because I'm leaving, and I may never come back.Are you going to let this princess walk right through your life? Or are you going to makeher sit down and try on that glass slipper you're holding?And if she does take the time to try it on, are you going to hope that it fits?

;i am afraid