It doesn't really matter how much I've went through in life, or how heartbroken I was last month, or how much a happy soul I am right now, standing in front of life, I am a woman, and I am vulnerable. This time, every months.

I am happy. I am good. I have awesome girlfriends, I have 3 bitches who loves me at home. But this always swept me away and floats me in weakness submerged in unsound grieves. I am getting all upset and repugnance all by myself at absolute NOTHING. C'on give myself a grin right now; what am I doing? I would most prolly break out into tears the next moment not knowing what exactly had I wrenched my blood pump for.
I would think about everybody I once had. Think about moments I once had.  Think about who is this Brenda now I am taking to everyday in the bed, in the tub, under the shower, in the lift, on the train, on the bus, when I walk. Do I know her? Is that really her? Do you really her? Sometimes it gets creepy, and sometimes I feel nothing at all. I am strong. I can endure this pain. I am not falling into your trap. I am not becoming you chess piece. Are these real?
I am a woman, I am a girl. I need you to come take me. I need you to come hug me. I need you to be brave enough to fight through the wall of black roses and thorns. Because you are, the black will turn red, the thorns will turn blunt. They'll make way. They'll let you come through.

I am what you see. I am not who you see. I am not what you feel. I am who you feel.



;i am afraid